Posts in Category: Mommyhood
The Potty: A Toddlers Journey
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Potty Training. So much is weighted in those two words. Having recently waded through this process, I feel hopeful that I can give you some helpful ideas if you are struggling. Here is our potty training story.
Just after my daughter’s (she shall now be known as L) 1st birthday I bought two potty chairs (this one from Fisher Price and a simpler one from Ikea here) and put one upstairs and one downstairs. I kept them in the bathroom, and when she followed me in there I would talk to her about it. If I recall correctly, she only sat on it a few times, with clothes, and then didn’t really have an interest. She did still follow me though.
Around 18 months she was pretty interested so I thought I’d get a feel for it, and after nap time I stuck her on the potty. Nothing happened so I put her in underwear and set a timer for 15 minutes. We went about our day and when the timer dinged we sat on the potty again. Again, nothing happened, so I set another timer. Before the next timer went off I noticed there was a puddle under her (thankfully we were in the kitchen.) She was not phased in the slightest, and so I decided she wasn’t ready. We went back into diapers, but I continued to talk to her about it.
Fast forward six months. She was showing definite interest, so we decided to start trying again. Oh it was wonderful. We did Pull-Ups, I downloaded the Pull-Up app and every time she went she got to play a game. I had the timer set on 45 minutes, and she did great. She kept it dry and would go pee in the toilet about 80% of the time. #2 wasn’t happening, but that was ok, I figured we’d get there. I was so proud! She even told us when she had to go while we were at Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, I was massively pregnant and did not want to have to clean up the messes that would inevitably occur during the transition to underwear. So we just kept with Pull-Ups, and when our little boy was born, she regressed (fancy talk for she was always going in the Pull-Up, never in the toilet.) So we went back to diapers. I had just given birth, and while having a newborn was easier the second time, I still wasn’t up for constantly running an unwilling toddler to the bathroom.
Having a baby changed my perspective though. All of a sudden, my tiny two year old looked HUGE! And as the double diapers started piling up, I decided we were doing potty training. I was so not looking forward to the mess (hence my previous toe-dipping efforts.) I had heard from several people that the bare-bum 3 day method worked well, and since me asking her if she needed to go wasn’t really working, we took the plunge.
I was so anxious all day. I cleaned up a few wet spots, and gritted my teeth, hauling her to the bathroom when she started going. I did keep her in underwear, which does absolutely nothing to help cleanup but I didn’t want her getting the idea it is ok to run around without anything on. I turned to my mom, friends, and family for support and basically encouragement. They did not disappoint. I did have several people tell me that I should wait until she was ready. The idea that she would never have an accident sounded great, but I learned that that is not the case.
As I’ve gotten to know her I truly believe she was ready, but like all new things, she needed a push. And a shove. And a yank. Anyways, it really wasn’t that bad (I tell myself so I will actually consider having more kids one day.) After four days she was peeing in the toilet all the time. We didn’t wait to do bed time training, and she caught on fast. She had one bedtime accident in that first week, and maybe a handful in the 6-8 months since. We also had a few daytime accidents, but they were few and far between. We did have another problem, though. #2
I had read that many kids had a harder time going #2 in the potty than #1, and it was definitely that way for us. I tried everything: the app, reminding her every half hour, sticker chart, chocolate chip after success, but no matter what she would not tell me she needed to poop, and would go in her pants. There was one extremely “fun” afternoon. My sister and I had gone to lunch and shopping. I took L to the potty after lunch, she wouldn’t go in the bathroom, but we tried. We went to one store, took her there, she didn’t go. The next store we went to she had an accident. A big, messy one. And I ran out of wipes. Luckily we were at Babies R Us so I was able to get some, and they were totally cool about the puddle on the floor, but I was so frustrated. I had no idea how to get her to tell me, and taking her all the time wasn’t working.
My dear mother came up with an amazing idea that completely saved the potty train. She got a bunch of little toys/surprises and put them in brown paper bags. There were 7 and each time L went poop on the potty and not in her pants, she got to pick one. It took precisely one more accident for it to click. By the time she got all 7 prizes, she was using the potty all the time. Success!!!
As I mentioned, its been about 8 months since we officially started this journey, and I am so happy to say that I know longer constantly worry about if she is going to have an accident. There have been a few but she has also shown amazing control. Like that one time we were shopping an hour away and I forgot to have her go before we headed home. It had been several hours and she told me she needed to go as we were getting on the interstate. She made it until we could get off at the next exit to McDonald’s and I could have danced, I was so happy.
I honestly wondered if I would ever not be in constant panic over her body functions. Now it is at the back of my mind, she does 98% on her own. So if you are feeling despair, never fear! This too shall pass. Here are the different things we tried:
- Potty Charts all Around – in the depths of my anguished search for help I came across this idea from a doctor to have a potty chart for mom and dad too. When she started losing interest I put up a chart for me and one for my husband. It sparked her interest, and after I got my first sticker she insisted on going too. The next morning she instructed me to make a potty chart for Puppy (her stuffed, well… puppy.)
- Potty Chart Reward – with her potty chart, when she completed it, she got a toy. She had picked out the toy ahead of time. After that, she started working on another chart, but she got so good at it, the chart just kind of faded out of her mind.
- Personalized Story Book – my sister-in-law gave me this idea. She said for her youngest she made a book showing the steps of going potty with your child as the star. I had conveniently got a pack of photo paper last time I bought ink, so I told L we were going to make our own book (she loves books so that was easy.) I let her pick her own outfit, then instructed her to do the steps while I took the pictures. Use caution with this because you want to respect privacy while also teaching the right steps. While she was napping I compiled it, wrote the story, and printed it. The whole thing took maybe 3 hours, and she absolutely loves it. She still likes to read it now.
- Instant Reward – we used chocolate chips. This worked for a while, but it started to seem that she would not go all the way so she could go again in half an hour and get more. Then we tried tokens, and she got to use the tokens to watch extra tv shows or a movie. This was hard to enforce on the go, and ultimately it fell away. Fortunately, once she really got it, she didn’t need the instant reward.
- Surprise Bags for #2 – I won’t go into detail since I discussed this above, but some prize ideas are Play-Doh, character chap stick, little book, costume jewelry, bouncy ball, new crayons, or any little toy. The Dollar Store is a great place to get these.
One thing to remember, that I feel is very important, is language. Make sure you are using words your child will understand. If you say “Let’s go to the potty,” they may not know that “let’s” is “let us.” Even though it feels strange, saying things like “It has been a long time since you have gone pee, come sit on the potty.” Also pick your words for bodily functions and stick with them. Whatever they are, you need to be consistent or you kid will get confused. Be prepared to discuss it a lot, you will probably get questions about why we have to poop and pee, why it needs to go in the potty, and where it goes after.
If you’re just starting, best wishes on your potty journey. If you are a successful potty trainer, please share some advice.
Do You Want to Build a Snowman…Inside? 20+ Indoor Activities for kids
No snow, no problem! (I really hope you read that in a cheesy infomercial voice.) Seriously though, you can play with snow inside, that you make yourself. I found this on Pinterest and it is by far my most repinned pin. It’s super easy to make, you likely have the ingredients on hand, it can be stored in an air-tight container for reuse, and it feels cold! Click here to get the recipe.
I am an indoor person, but my daughter is an outdoor person. So I am slowly adjusting to playing outside, and at the same time constantly trying to find things she will enjoy that we can do inside. These activities were also great when it was super cold but we didn’t have any snow, or we did have snow but also had a wicked cough/fever/runny nose. Regardless of what keeps you indoors, staying inside doesn’t have to be miserable, and you don’t have to watch an endless stream of movies/tv (not the ones you like.)
Here is a list of indoor activities for little kids, broken into two sections: close supervision and minimal.
Close supervision:
- Play Snow
- Play-dough
- Coloring
- Painting
- Building a project (Home Depot kid crafts are great, blog post coming soon)
- Make a necklace/bracelet
- Make cards for family members
- Make cookies or cupcakes and decorate them
- Clean the house (I know, sounds awful, but kids actually like helping. For tips on how to get kids involved, check out our article here)
- Do yoga with your kids
Minimal supervision (great for when you’re feeling under the weather)
- Decorate puppets and then tell stories with them (you can print off some animals or people, or just use a brown lunch sack and draw a face)
- Play with Duplo/building blocks
- Read books
- Listen to music
- Build a fort (then watch a movie from your fort)
- Create a town for Hot Wheels by drawing roads on a large piece of paper or cardboard. Then drive cars around on it
- Bring out toys that have been sidelined
- Play restaurant (this can be minimal if you lay on the couch and “order food”)
- Magnetic dolls like these (if your child is old enough)
- Give your kids some pom poms and an empty container and watch them entertain themselves
- Build towers (I have no idea why kids love building and knocking down towers so much, but you can literally just lay there and stack, then do it again after they knock it down)
- Do puzzles (I got a bunch of puzzles at the dollar store, they are just barely starting to fall apart after a year, so I will probably replace them soon)
The important thing to remember is that as long as your kids are fed, happy and (mostly) clean, you are doing a good job. Hang in there, guys, there’s sunshine up ahead.
Tub Time: 6 Guidelines for Health, Safety, and Fun
Bath time: it’s got to happen. And if you can’t remember the last time your kid had one, it’s time for another one (same rule goes for you and showers.)
Whether it’s your first time bathing your babe, or your fiftieth, here are some guidelines:
- NEVER, NEVER, NEVER leave your child alone in water. This really should go without saying but since drowning in a tub is approximately 62% of all unintentional drowning deaths for children under age one (http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/databriefs/db149.htm) we will keep addressing it. Children can drown in as little as 2 inches of water. Don’t leave standing water around them. Don’t let them be in the tub alone. If you have to leave, take them out of the tub and with you. Your child’s life is more important than whatever draws you away from the tub.
- Make sure the water is not too hot or too cold. They say to check the temperature with your elbow (I’m assuming because it is more sensitive to temperature than your hands which change temperatures frequently). I honestly didn’t figure out how to get a good temperature until my second child. My poor daughter had several too cool baths I’m afraid. But I would rather err on the side of too cold than too hot and burn him/her.
- Some babies love baths, some hate them. If your baby is the latter, get some bright toys and water books to distract them. It’s also a great time to sing songs. We like “3 Little Ducks”, ABC, and “3 Little Monkeys.”
- Make sure you wash tub toys often. If your toys are squeaky water toys, the kind that can suck up water and squirt it out, I recommend soaking them in vinegar every once in awhile. However, once you see what comes out, you might want to fill the hole in with hot glue like I did. Here is a small fraction of what came out of our ducks.
ICK!! Before you glue them, make sure to wash them with the vinegar (if they’ve been used, if they are new just plug that sucker up). I seriously wanted to barf when I saw this. - Have all of your supplies before hand so you aren’t scrambling to find shampoo, a washcloth, etc. This is more important if you are bathing a baby that can’t sit up. For a bigger kid, as long as everything is in the same room you are good. Warning: You will get wet, I guarantee it. This is why I usually bathe my kids before I get ready for bed, so I don’t get my pjs wet.
- Have fun! Bath time is a great time to play and bond with your child. It is also setting an important example for them, one of good hygiene. If you do it right, they’ll even remember to shower when they’re teenagers. Maybe.
Big Helper, Little Helper: How to Get Little Ones to Help with Chores
From a very young age, my daughter showed interest in doing whatever I was doing. I think most kids do. As soon as they learn how to move, they follow mommy or daddy around constantly. Then, when they learn to talk, you get the “what’s that?” question or the “what you doing?” My daughter recently upgraded to the “what do you think you doing?” This is how we sometimes teasingly ask her if she’s doing something she’s not supposed to. But she just says it to find out what we really are doing.
Well, what is mom doing 75% of the time? Answer: housework. Washing dishes, putting dishes away, sweeping the floor, vacuuming, washing, drying, and putting away laundry, picking up toys; the list goes on.
When my daughter first wanted to help, I was reluctant. It was so much faster to do it myself. But then I realized two things A) she’s not always going to want to help, so I should take advantage of it, and B) if I teach her, she will get good at it.
Whatever chore I am doing, if she wants to help, I let her. So far her favorites are laundry and dishes. I let her take the clothes out of the dryer and put them on my bed for sorting, push the wet clothes into the dryer (I pull them from the washer and drop them on the door), put the dryer sheet in, push the button on the washer, and close the closet doors.
For dishes, I let her put the spoons, forks and measuring cups in the dishwasher, push the start button, and put the clean forks and spoons in the drawer.
Bonus: she actually likes these chores so much, I can use them to distract her from something else. “You wanna watch Frozen for the hundredth time, how about you help me with dishes instead?” And it works!
A month or two ago we started teaching her to put her shoes away as soon as we got home, and the other day she did it without me asking. I was so proud!
She also likes to push buttons (if you couldn’t tell from the laundry and dishes stories) so she also gets to open and close the garage door (with our help) if we are leaving or when we come back.
I only have one kid who can help, so I don’t know if this will work with every kid, but here are some tips for keeping kids interested in chores.
- If they ask to help, ALWAYS find a way. I’ve been working on a diy rug (info to come) and even though she can’t help with the cutting, or even roll the fabric into a ball herself, I sit her in my lap and guide her hands.
- Say please and thank you. Your child will pick up your good manners, and it’s important to remember that they are a person too; everyone appreciates recognition for their efforts.
- If you assign them a job or chore, be consistent. For example, it is now my daughter’s job to put her shoes away when we get home. I help her take them off, and she puts them away. If she doesn’t want to, I reminder her that it’s her job and that she can do it. If she still doesn’t, I let her know that I will do it but then we won’t have time to read stories before nap/bed, or something else she wants to do. I’ve only had to do that once, and she chooses to put her shoes away.
Here is a list of chores little kids can do:
- Help with dishes
- Help with laundry
- Throw things away
- Close (possibly open) doors
- Pick up toys/books and put them away (depending on your set up)
- Get a diaper/binky/wipes case (extremely helpful when you have a baby and a toddler)
- Push garage button, or other buttons
- Dust (I haven’t tried this one yet, but I’ve read you put a sock on their hands and let them go)
- Putting clothes in the laundry basket
- Carry in groceries (small, light bags)
- Sweep (not one I let her do, I really need to)
In my opinion, having a helper makes housework not so bad. Especially when she tells me “good job, mama”, or is really excited and says “I did it”, or, my favorite, when she tells herself good job. Now I just need to find a way to have her help clean the bathroom…
The Icky Things Nobody Tells You About Motherhood
Being a parent to small children includes many encounters with bodily fluids, usually not your own.
Before my son was born, I was dreading getting peed on. The way it’s talked about, I expected it to be a daily thing. In fact, this was the reason I wanted a girl first. That wasn’t such a good call. My daughter wasted little time. I’ll never forget the doctor holding her up to show me, and then exclaiming “she peeing on me!” Then she shot poop at me when she was only 12 days old. Seems she missed the memo that only boys were supposed to make messes on mommy.
On the other hand, at 3 months I can count the number of times my little boy has peed on me on one hand. And here’s the best part: the first time was when he was two weeks. He did, however, make target practice of the warmer at the hospital, shooting it within minutes of his birth. This boy’s got range, he’s just considerate when it comes to spraying his mom.
Back to the poop. Over the course of your child’s first years, you will change hundreds, if not thousands, of diapers, and some of it is going to get on your hand. There’s no way around it. Just clean up, scrub good and get yourself a treat.
Then there are sneezes. It’s bad enough having that cute little face blow; sometimes you can actually see the germs fly all over. Then you get your darling waddling over to show you something, the pause, and then, to your utter horror, they release that sucker all over you, possibly into your mouth (I didn’t sign up for THIS!)
If you’ve got a new baby, we can’t forget the spit up. You’ve pretty much got two options: A) smell like baby spit and milk all day, every day or B) keep one foot in the shower, and watch that laundry pile up. Everyone says your laundry increases with a baby; they just don’t tell you that half of it is your own, from all the fluids you get to be a mop for.
On the bright side, there is one fluid of babies you don’t get to clean up: blood. Babies don’t have much opportunity to bleed, thankfully. If your baby bleeds regularly, you might be doing something wrong. But don’t worry, you’ll likely get to clean up your own, or your two-year olds. “I said NO jumping on the couch.”